sports day yest was a bore.

i've nvr in my whole life not take part in a single event during sports day! damn.

i was darn disappointed that council girls had to pull out last min just because we did not have even runners. i was confident we had the chance of even getting like 2nd or 3rd. ARH.

forget it. my hopes of getting a trophy for a momento for my 2yrs of SAJC are dashed.

haf to aim for College Day Awards now! 3distinctions! haix. abit difficult. haha.

but other than the council boys relay, which we came in champs! that was a great race ran! so proud of them. the rest was a bore to me. yucks. i shld not have gone in the first place. i wasn't feeling well. but i wanted to go becuase it's the last sports day. and i felt it was only responsible of me to go though i was unwell than to withdraw and let them die finding a replacement. it just shows no sportsmanship la. haiyar whatever.

but i enjoyed the lunch! like ALOT! went Cartel with ian, kenneth, kanesh, jean, teenesh, dan, and sam. and we had a damn gd time laughing at kenneth and kanesh. the ACT GAY couple. gosh! i'll try to get the photos from kanesh soon! (:

other than that. that day was a waste of time.

today was even worse.

it was like the most unlucky day of my life!

YUCKS.

but oh wells. i'll get over it very soon i guess.

aiyar. i had too many things happening to me at one go. couldn't really handle it. but nvm. i grow in the process.

i am finally facing reality.
i am finally out of my dream land.
out into the cruel and heartless reality.
where sincerity no longer matter as much to many.
where everything is not just what it seems.
where everything just seem so superficial.
where everything just crops up suddenly & expect u to face it.
where everybody wears a mask. including myself.
where everybody has a hidden self.
where everybody seem too busy to care.
we are slaves who are going mad in this crazy world we live in.
we have absolutely no choice but to pick ourselves up again when we fall & walk on.
no matter how tormenting it might be.
i miss living in my dreams.
i don't know how long i can last.
i might crumble. like apple crumble. HAHAH..
but i feel that i'm strong enuf to not crumble that easily.
but i am tired. i really am.
i've nvr felt like this before. this tiredness. it makes me break.

but of course. the everybody above is just a generalisation.

i'm glad i also have pple beside me to pull me up when i fall.
to hold my hand when i break down.
to hug me when i need it.
to encourage when i'm disheartened.
to just be there always no matter what.

i thank God for these few very special ones. for without them. i really will just collapse or explode or something. haha. i appreciate hugs i've received as well. i really do.

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you look outside look inside to your soul



the past week has been super slack. i could go home for dinner everyday except friday la! which means i get to sleep as well! hahah! woohoo!

friday's rugby match was GREAT. i almost went crazy watching it. hahaha. my 1st rugby match watched in my WHOLE life. and although we lost 13-7. i must say we played a good match. with sportsmanship and all. and i really have to salute khairul. HE IS A TRUE SPORTSMAN man!! despite injuring his arm, he played the match. despite having pull a muscle or something during the match, he got up to his feet and went for the ball in pain. like WTH! respect! haha.

the others played a gd match as well. boy the match was violent! but it was SO exciting. haha. i still rmb the tense silence each time a conversion was going to be kicked. though i dunno how the game really works. hahah.


everything is just different. i wish u've never gone. i miss you.



let me do a sum up of this week.

ok. wait. my memory's failing me. i can't rmb everything i did so i'm just gonna blog abt a few events i rmb clearly.

on tues i rmb very clearly. i waited 3HRS for my dear MS LAU YING LI to have our math date. yes. our math date! hahahs sounds cheesy but oh wells. it has been both productive n not so productive because we were deviating and talking instead of doing math at times. i managed to like talk to her abt stuff i nvr got a chance to talk abt. abt how i really feel inside. abt what i really think. abt almost everything! now i know the meaning of "true friendships can't be forged in just a few months" (quoted LAU YING LI). our friendship has indeed come a long way. and it's still going strong. and i'm glad. for the continuation of this friendship despite our busy schedules. for you. OH and i rmb this very funny conversation while i was FULLY concentrating on a math problem.

yingli: eh so where are we going? (for dinner she meant though she didn't say it out)
me: huh. NUS la.
yingli: WHAT?! NUS FOR DINNER?!

and then i looked up and started laughing at how stupid my answer was. my goodness. what was i thinking la. hahahahah! i can see the Alevels taking over me. NUS. boy that was hilarious. i was laughing like mad la. hahaha.. ok that was for tues.

supposed to run for Inter-CCA relay heats today. but because less than 8 CCAs turned up so we automatically qualify for the finals on sports day itself. well. hope it turns out for the best! (:

suddenly i miss the times i spent with eve & co (whit etc) studying outside our 4A classroom in STC. the wind. and the environment. i kinda miss it. somehow we had been encouraging each other. just with a simple hug often. an occasional smile at each other even when mugging. i found joy in studying despite all the stress. but i so hate mugging now. yucks. it's like WHAM! one whole pile of sucky revision to do. so much i dunno where to start. i feel lost. ah whatever. i will get out of my sec sch studying days and get on with life.



I've got it all
but I feel so deprived
I go up, I come down and I'm emptier inside
tell me what is this thing that I feel like I'm missing
and why can't I let it go


ciaos!



lemme recall. what did i do yest. oh yes.

we went down to MJC to cheer our soccer boys on. it was a match against ACJC.

the 1st half went pretty well for us and we were leading by 2-0 till half-time.

the 2nd half was hmm. ACJC managed to catch up with us and it was 2-2.

i'm still proud of our soccer boys. i must say they played a very good match though it was rather 'violent' and under rainy conditions. so GD JOB! i guess we always enjoy cheering for soccer boys because of the excitement. alright! (:

now what i cannot stand is the attitude. we were leading by 2 goals. fine. they caught up. and their actions towards us just reflect immaturity and poor sportsmanship. we're fine with being caught up. it was a gd match. but their attitude just sucks. and ur cheering was drowned by us that day. too bad. YUCKS. i'm kinda glad i'm not in there right now. ok enuf of it.

monday. Polo Boys 3rd/4th placing against THEM again! we gotta win it and get 3rd 3rd 3rd!

THEN. come the good part. after the match yesterday. we managed to rush back to school only to find a darn long queue outside the Cultural Centre waiting to get in for LIFE. we were like at the back la! and we had to sit on the floor. but it was ok. the CC's floor isn't that bad after all. haha.. i must say i was kinda bored initially because i wasn't very familiar with the songs except a few because Antz sent them to me and Gen too. (thank you thank you) SO.. yeaps. but after that it was super high already. after knowing how to sing those songs they played. ENCORE ENCORE was what we were asking for after the last song. and many got their wish granted. they sang ONE WAY. and the whole CC almost went crazy jumping. hahahahah.. but it was MUCH FUN! ((: i get to enjoy it more than i did last yr i guess because of the company i was with! (:

VIVALALIFE 2006! woohoo!

IAN did a great job with the acoustic and classic guitars!! ((:

and shucks. i'm left with alot of work for the weekend. the darn essay with gen, ding and joy. haiyar. and whole load of math and chem. HELP ME. i'm like so deprived of outings. i so wanna hang out and shop on sats and suns. but i can't or else i will just suffer horribly for my results.

wells. with the few weeks ahead. i definitely have to push on no matter what. there is no turning back at this juncture. i can only, or rather i am forced to only look ahead and no where else. i will have to get the lazy me working again. and i hate it. i so hate it. that explains why. i can pretty whiny and moody these few days. i'm so sorry if it affected any one of you here. i hope it will be over soon!! (: dun worry i'll try to ensure it will. GRR.

it is also because i am utterly confused.



welfare student centre cum council room cleanup today!

brings back much memories of what we did in Malan. ON A SATURDAY. 23RD JULY. does it ring a bell to many of you? yes it was my birthday then. we sang the school song school hymn and what else?! during the clean up. and i'll nvr forget the surprise bday song as well. GOSH. there goes to show how much i miss MALAN. apart from the distance, everything's just different now here at Potong Pasir. the atmosphere mainly. i no longer feel the homely feeling i used to have.

but clean up today was gd as well. air con is finally up! woohoo. and dinner with jingxiu (not exactly dinner. more like gallavanting session) was damn funny. GIRL GIRL girl ah jingx! RMB! hahaha!! our ONE DAY (no make it TWO. because i still owe u one day rmb? ((: )

cheering for soccer against ACJC tmr. we're gonna win and they're gonna lose lose lose!

and i foresee LIFE concerting will be GREAT! (: though i hope the songs they're gonna play are songs that at least i've heard of. haha.. better still my favourite few. but that's very unlikely. so. nvm. i'll still enjoy it as much i'm sure (:



'TOO MYSTERIOUS.
TOO SUSPICIOUS."
GEN! GOSH I FEEL SO URGH!!



did some IQ test sent to me by a fren. and it says.

my IQ score is 120.

and it says.

Your unusual talent of being equally good at both mathematical and verbal skills, paired with the way you learn through experience, makes you an Inventive Inquisitor. You understand the world by "learning through living" and are able to teach others by taking them through actual experiences.

Most people search their brains for previously stored information that might help in a given situation, but you are open to an unusual amount of change and take things as they come and see things as they are.

tink it's quite cool. haha. try it if u all want.

http://uk.tickle.com/test/iq/start.html